Stop Being Boring

Stop Being Boring: 10 Ways To Become The Most Interesting Person In Every Crowd Or Circle

Dear friends, have you ever hesitated to join a gathering of your classmates or colleagues, standing mere five feet away, simply because you were unsure of what to say or how to initiate a conversation?

Well, fear not, as this blog draws inspiration from my personal experiences and the insights of some of the most captivating individuals in my social circle. After reading this blog, you will no longer be afraid of starting a new conversation, no matter whether you are introvert or not, because this fear is common in everyone.

Often, people find themselves hesitant to speak or express themselves in public due to the fear of being perceived as boring, incorrect, or lacking an interesting character in the crowd.

Now is the time to cast aside the fear of being labeled as dull and embrace the opportunity to learn how to become a compelling character in a real-life movie. Here are a few actionable steps you can take to become the favored personality in every social circle—whether among friends, family, or relatives.

1. Cultivate positivity and don't show your anger, frustration, hatred, jealousy

   Mitigate anger and embrace love. Anger is a swiftly spreading, intense emotion that can permeate the environment. People generally avoid spending time with someone who frequently expresses anger and negativity towards any person in or outside of the current circle.

   The belief is that if someone constantly speaks ill of others in their presence, they might do the same about us. On the contrary, individuals who radiate happiness, share love, and maintain a positive demeanor are more appreciated company.

   Therefore, strive to prevent anger and actively spread love, even when you might not be in the best mood or feeling frustrated.

2. Include your surroundings

   When you show "like" or "dislike" towards a specific person or a specific thing i.e. favoritism, you inadvertently exclude everything else and everyone around you. This means you seem to be excluding the other people and things around you.

   Focusing solely on specific preferences can be perceived as selfishness when in a communal setting. True inclusivity involves extending love to everyone and everything, ensuring that your surroundings become an integral part of your inclusive experience.

   And when you seem to be loving everyone, of course everyone would love your company.

3. Master the Art of Listening: Speak less, listen more; act less, react more

   People generally dislike those who dominate conversations and neglect to listen. Everyone has a desire to express themselves and feel acknowledged. When you fail to let others speak, they may feel ignored, leading to a lack of appreciation for your company.

   This doesn't imply you should refrain from speaking; rather, prioritize active listening, nodding, or expressing emotions like a subtle "hm hm," a smile, and asking questions after they speak, signaling that you value their input. Wait for three seconds after they finish speaking to give them time to gather their thoughts.

   Responding after this brief pause not only shows consideration but also allows for a more meaningful exchange.

4. Don't be too logical

   Avoid being excessively logical; inject emotions into your interactions. As Sadhguru emphasizes in his book "Emotions," being too logical makes you "dry".

   People don't like to hang out with a google who answers everything with facts it already has, rather people want a company where there is some fun, jokes, mistakes, arguing for things that make no sense (sometimes). It doesn't mean that you have to be so emotional, just add some emotion with logic. It makes you "juicy" as emotion acts like a juice when added with "dry" logic.



5. Eye Contact and Facial expression

   It is always good to have eye contact with whom you talk. Keep in mind that eye contact doesn't mean looking continuously into someone's eyes, keep it balanced. Give some break by looking down or up and acting like you are thinking about what they just spoke of.

   Change facial expression as per the topic, a smiling face won't work if someone is telling a sad story. Keep your eyebrows and forehead stretched out to show excitement or other responses.

   Use some sounds like "wow', "so sad ","sorry " frequently, as per the ongoing topic. It shows that you are interested in ongoing conversation. Without using these sounds, the silence from your side might make your opposite person feel that they are making you bored and then they will stop speaking.

6. If you want a strong connection, add some vulgarity

   I always see my friends who are more vulgar to each other, who use some rough words or phrases just to make fun of each other, are more likely to be best friends and have strong emotional connection. But it only works when the friendship is already old, strong and adding vulgarity makes it even stronger.

   If you have new friends, please don't try it so soon.

7. Ask them to do something for you

   I don't know the real science behind it but I have seen this trick used by many professional people. Asking for some small things to do makes people on the other side feel more familiar. Like asking for a key which is in front of the opposite person, or water. Very small works that take no physical effort will work well to make bonds strong.

   Try it today. Ask someone by giving your mobile, "Could you please turn off notifications in my mobile? It disturbs me a lot but I don't know how to turn it off" and see the smile on that person.

8. Meet more; call and message less

   In this digital world, people have forgotten the power of real meeting and communication. You might have 5000 friends in your friend list, you might be chatting with 20 of them, and voice calling with 5 of them, but you rarely can talk well to any of them if you meet them face to face physically.

   No other thing can work better than physical meet to make friendship or connection strong. So, if you really like someone, friends of the same gender or opposite, fix today the time & date for a Tea/coffee meet and go have some friendly talk with them. Trust me this is totally different than social media chatting.



9. Don't judge too much, don't argue too much, don't give too much of suggestions

   Instead of replying with " you are wrong, the right thing is bla bla" , you can say something like, "you are right, however, it might be even better if you bla bla".

   People don't like the company of a person who often keeps arguing, or judging or giving too much of suggestions. Imagine someone talking to you like he/she is debating with you, you will never want to spend time with such a person. It makes you feel like they are not of your type and thus they are not agreeing with your words.

10. Don't be superstitious, discriminative, and personal

    Never ask questions like "Are you married? Do you have children? What caste do you belong to? What's your age?" You never know what situation is being faced by the opposite person - some might have lost their loved ones in an accident, some might not want to mention their caste, some people find these questions disrespectful as well.

    Also, don't try to extract too much personal information. Some people want to know everything about the opposite person like information about their family, girlfriend, etc, while the opposite person is not comfortable to share those personal things. Instead you can wait until they start themselves, if they start themselves, it's a sign that they are comfortable to share with you.

If you have reached up to here, congratulations! You are already ahead of any people who want to do something in their life but don't have persistence and consistency in their actions.

To be honest with you, I might not be correct in all the methods I mentioned above, however I can assure that most of the above methods will work well. And, never forget, reading this blog alone won't make you a interesting person, you have to be in the field itself i.e. go talk with friends, make new friends of all type, talk with them, don't be afraid if you are boring, they will love your company if you really want to be a part of their circle. All you need is a positive mindset, a desire to have fun with them and some real moments shared with them.

Good Luck and Thank You for reading.